New Burgers and Old Cheeses

New to the dating scene, I have been trying to navigate the norms and etiquette it seems like everyone else is so familiar with.

Here are my problems: I am a fairly unattractive eater (there will be sauce on my cheek – this is a given), and I like to share my food, but in moderation. Some people seem to find the messy thing endearing. I like these people. My last date gently poked fun at me, which I welcomed. Mid-meal, though, I took a break. I wanted to re-energize and then sink back into the most delicious burger I have ever eaten. But the date took my burger! Mid-burger! All was forgiven, though, because upon seeing the horror on my face, he offered to make me kugel. Ladies, I found a secret: a cute man who knows the best burger in town and who can make kugel. Yes, he steals delicious food…but he makes kugel.

This find warrants celebration, but let’s revert to the burger. Hosted in Maven, this burger stands out with its simplicity – they do not load strange sauces on it or smother the buns with butter. The burger screams with juicy tenderness and a tangy, but not overpowering pickle. This is not just any burger – this is THE burger.

I will warn you – not all the dates I’ve gone on or will go on will result in this kind of foodie happiness. The one before this guy took me to try aged cheeses and he talked about boobs for 20 minutes.  Aged cheeses: good. Boobs: good. Places that serve aged cheeses and pretentiously explain the difference between a 12 month aged cheese and a 15 month aged cheese (and how foolish people who eat 12 month aged cheese are): profoundly annoying. Techy boys who giggle when discussing boobs: surprisingly, not sexy. Needless to say, this was not a win. And despite my best efforts to try a restaurant, the next dude insisted on taking me to see Alcatraz this week (If it goes poorly, I will be in a prison on an island. This is bad.).

This process has been so interesting to me – food tests compatibility so well. When someone takes you to their favorite place, you immediately gain insight into their personality: fancy or low-key, a focus on presentation versus taste, how adventurous they are, how research-oriented, how frugal, how healthy. You see manners, generosity. It’s caused me to examine myself in those aspects too. Learning while eating’s not so bad.