There are times when you want your mind to be silent, to just rest. Until recently, I don’t think I indulged enough in that and didn’t realize how valuable an impact it has on the rest of my life. It’s no coincidence that many of the activities I love rock my mind into a deep sleep: dancing, listening to music, working out, watching really, really stupid television (Millionaire Matchmaker, you’ve done so much for me), reading, and, recently, cooking. I was looking for things I enjoy, but I didn’t realize what I really enjoy is having a quiet mind, a mind not humming with worry, not indulging in inadequacy, a mind that’s still and focused.
So I’ve embarked on this quest to conquer cooking – but in baby steps. I do refuse to chop an onion. Last time I tried, I had to take three breaks from crying into the onion, and fell asleep during one of the breaks. What’s up with onions? Terrible food, I’ve decided. But what an expansive world this has opened up. And how this transforms my love of food! I’ll make jicama and orange salad with spiced shrimp and Vietnamese Bun Cha. And when you create the food, it just tastes better – you appreciate every melding flavor, every texture, every smell, and how wonderfully fresh it is.
What’s so exciting about San Francisco to me is how deeply involved and passionate people are about whatever they do – each hobby transforms into art. There are cults around rock climbing and there are blues band fanatics and graffiti connoisseurs. And when they enter into this world, they allow it to consume them; their lives are so vastly different from the person next to them, but you’d never know it. So when you walk down the street, you can only imagine what each person is doing at 6 PM today. Yesterday, I went on a tour of the Armory, an S&M porn studio, in the old armory building for the National Guard. These people have dedicated their lives to sex and to expressing whoever or whatever you want to be behind closed doors (or not), to pushing their boundaries to try things like BDSM and role play and exalting the human body. Each pair of eyes lit up when you asked them about their job and explained how it takes them away from how they feel they should act. Isn’t it interesting that we’re all just trying to numb or challenge our minds into submission. I use food, you use sex, we have entirely different lifestyles, but all hoping to reach the same goal. I love that.
wrapmeinbacon 